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Feb. 6th, 2009

The Pundits Kink Meme v. 1.0
(Including The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, MSNBC, CNN or whatever other pundits you would like with whomever you'd like to request them with)

For those of you who haven't ever seen a kink meme (you are in for a treat), the instructions:

1- Choose a pairing.
2- Choose a kink. If you need some sort of reference, there's this list of kinks.
3- Your comment should be anonymous! All part of the fun.
4- For every request you make, please try to fill at least one! This doesn't work quite as well if all we have are requests


Let's get this party started!

eta: Just a reminder that while this is the kink meme for pundits (and whomever you feel like pairing them with), there is another kink meme for Rahmdom/Politifandom if all you want are the politicians.

eta 2: We'll see how this goes, but I'm going to try to update at least once a day with links to the written prompts on each page. I'm just copy-pasting the original prompt and taking out any extra line-breaks, because actually stopping to read would make this task pretty well impossible. I considered doing this with unfilled as yet prompts, too, but you're all so amazingly prolific that the first is going to be trouble enough.

Also, I probably should have said this at the very first, but--I know this is a kink meme and totally anonymous, but let's try and remain respectful of each other. This is one of my favorite fandoms ever filled with fantastic people, so I'm sure you can all police yourselves pretty well.

[page one]
1) Anderson/Keith, Frottage, wherein it starts seemingly innocently (falling asleep somewhere together or the like) and ends with good old-fashioned dry-humping.
Keith/Rachel, ties
Jon/Stephen, friends masturbating together.
Stephen/Jon, Frantic frottage and/or coming in pants.
George Clooney/Jon, Orgasm denial and control. Maybe bondage, too, if you like.
Brian/Jon/Stephen. Erotic spanking. (Preferably in the vein of 'Brian spanks Stephen while Jon watches', but I am flexible!)
Anderson/Rachel, Bondage
John Oliver/Rob Riggle, public cross-dressing, coming out of the closet (not necessary)
Samantha Bee/Jason Jones, strap-on sex
jon/anderson, lewd scrabble.
Jon/Denis Leary, Stephen watches
Jon/character!Stephen, shower sex
Rachel/Ana, bodyswap
Keith/Anderson, crossdressing


[page two]
Jon/John, D/s with Jon as a possesive top, marking/biting most welcome!
Jon/Stephen. Before being hired to work for "The Daily Show," Stephen was a male prostitute.
Keith/Rachel, androgyny
Keith/Anderson, Public Sex in a gay bar/club.
Stephen Colbert/Kanye West: roleplay, use of ties as a means of tying, or blindfolds (or feel free to mix and match!).
Jon/voyeur!Stephen; Stephen watches Jon masturbate.
How about either body swap with Rachel and Keith or Jon/Stephen accidental arousment and/ or body swap.
Stephen/Jon, rentboy/prostitute roleplay
Keith/Anderson, Dirty Talk (Keith doing the dirty talking)
Jon/Denis Leary. Lazy drunken making out and frottage.
Keith/Rachel, begging and/or delayed gratification
Jon/Stephen, asphyxiation
Sean Hannity/Alan Colmes. Alpha male misses his punching bag.
Dev Patel/Jon: Some teasing, Loss of control, maybe a massage that leads elsewhere...Submissive Jon though
George Clooney/Jon Stewart | 'Vampire Fantasy'


[page three]
Keith/Rachel, jealousy
Keith/Rachel, drunk
Anderson Cooper/Michael Ware, on assignment overseas, Anderson as bottom, angst a plus, can just be a buddy fuck
Rachel/Keith, pegging, very dominant (but fun) Rachel 'punishing' Keith for flirting with her.
Rachel/Anderson/Keith, sucking dyke cock - preferably with Keith/Anderson established relationship
Jon/Stephen, Bloodplay. Go crazy on this.
Anderson/Reza Aslan, any kink
Bill O'Reilly/anybody
keith/rachel, student/teacher, preferably involving the time he taught her to read a teleprompter


[page four]
Jon/Denis Leary: the younger years involving Jon in drag and carsex.
Jon/Stephen. Exhibitionism/voyeurism. Frottage on live television. Can be TDS or TCR, I'm not picky.
Rachel Maddow/Female!Keith, Rachel can turn straight girls gay, Rachel dominates.
Keith, masturbation and having a fantasy about Anderson
Teenage Keith and Rachel, best friends, Rachel knows she's gay but thinks maybe she could turn straight if she had sex with a guy she loves. Sex is starts out slow, gets frantic as she tries to convince herself she likes it. Crying ensues after. (two fic)
Steve/Stephen: oral fixation, Yes. No. YES. NOOOOOOOO. Stephen knows his constant pen/fingerporn drives Steve crazy but Steve just won't admit it.
Jason/Jon, dirty-talk. Jon all tied up--Jason doesn't even need to touch Jon to make him come. Bonus points if it's because of Jason's voice!
John King/John Oliver. John O is trapped inside the Magic Touchscreen. John K uses this to his sadistic advantage.
Teenage Rachel/Unknown Woman in gay club (after Rachel's disasterous attempt at turning straight with Teen!Keith), Underage Rachel, older woman. Seduction. "You're a sweet thing."
Stephen/Jon/"Stephen" Just... anything, really.
"Stephen" masturbating, begins by thinking about turning Rachel Maddow straight, ends by thinking of dominating the dirty liberal-jew that is Jon.


[page five]
Jason and Sam tag-team Jon (spanking, voyerism, penetration)
Stephen"/Jon. "Stephen" keeps Jon in the cage beneath his desk. Stockholme Syndrome, reward/punishment, hurt/comfort and name-calling
John Oliver, scarf bondage (http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=215337&title=Scumdog-Million-Hairs). Doesn't matter who with. Just. Scarves. Scarves and filthy bondage depravity plz.
Some good, old-fashioned Jon/"Stephen", with "Stephen" being the needy, needy sub that he so desperately is.
1) Rachel/girl!Keith - Keith has to go to a black tie event, even though he's not used to his new body. Rachel helps. Corset-play. 2) Rachel/girl!Keith with Anderson watching. Established Keith/Anderson before the...whatever made Keith a girl.
1 Anderson/Keith, historical, gilded age setting.2 aristocracy, power reversal, washing.
Stephen/Jon, fucked out, marking by biting or bruises. Top Stephen.
Rachel/girl!Keith, tribadism, exploration, laughter


[page six]
Keith/Rachel, exhibitionism, semi-public sex would be awesome!
Keith/Rachel/Ana, mindgames. Keith catches Rachel and Ana together.
so, who wants to write keith/pregnant!rachel? it need not be keith's kid. just, you know, keith wants kids, keith wants rachel, ergo pregnant!rachel would probably kill keith dead with want.
Rachel/Hannity, gender roles
Stephen/Paul/Amy, anal sex with strap-on, living together in a three-way relationship
John Oliver/Andy Zaltzman. They're together to record The Bugle. The action starts as they are recording and ends in mind-blowing sexy sex.
"Stephen" watches Jon Stewart interview Papa Bear and fantasizes about Papa Bear fucking Jon and making him beg for forgiveness (for of all things the panda-bear/teddy-bear argument)


[page seven]
Jon/Stephen. One starts giving the other a handjob/blowjob while the receiver is asleep. Lazy, sleepy sex ensues.
Pretty much anything with Aasif in. Where's the Aasif-love, fandom?
Ollie/Jon - Jon sees just what it takes to make John break concentration. Based on this segment: http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=165516&title=Britain%27s-Fallen-Soldiers
Keith, Rachel, and lesbian porn -- preferably from the "just two buddies watching porn" angle. Because I apparently really like to torture Keith.
Rachel/female!Keith - Rachel takes recently girlified Keith bra shopping. Public sex in the changing rooms.
Jon/Stephen; crying, Election night. After the Indecision special, they skip the parties and the drinks and go fuck in celebration. Kind of in the same vein as this (http://community.livejournal.com/rahmbamarama/285245.html) drabble. <3<3
Rachel Maddow, Michelle Obama, or Hillary Clinton/Sarah Palin, unexpected arousal


[page eight]
Keith/Rachel, A joyous, spontaneous Election Night kiss turns into unexpected Election Night sexin'. (two fic)
Keith/Rachel, piercings -- bonus points for vaguely dom!Keith
"Stephen"/Female!Jon. Stephen will only do Jon if he's a woman, and surely enough, one night, he dreams of Jon transforming into into a woman...completely at Stephen's mercy.
Rachel comes on the Daily Show, Stephen watches it. Fantasy of threesome ensues where he dominates them both. (Deep-throating, both Rachel and Jon tied to a large bed.)
Rachel/Girl!Keith, Rachel teaches Girl!Keith how to use a vibrator


[page nine]
sexless erotica pls? keith/rachel, forced to share a bed, heat (ex: dead of summer, broken air conditioner)
Jon/Anderson, Jon knows how to make Anderson laugh and make him feel safe (d/s is okay)


[page ten]
Rachel/Keith. Rachel never found Keith attractive until she discovered him wearing a dress. Crossdressing; Rachel topping and in charge.
Brian Williams/Jon Stewart, mad flirting (teasing and goading) during an interview goes too far, dry-humping on the desk. Made even better if no one else realizes what's going on, they make a joke of it, but both really get off on it.
Kristen Schaal, masturbation, against a washer on spin cycle, with or without a partner.
Rachel/Ana/Keith - Ana teaches Rachel how to suck dick
Jon/"Stephen" Heated but affectionate making out and frottage with "Stephen" being vulnerable.
Jon/Keith/Rachel. Preferably affectionate and domestic but dark and angst-y works too. Bonus points for Stephen and/or Anderson finding out and being all "...the HELL?"
"Stephen"/Jon. D/s, "Stephen" trying to be assertive, but quickly it all devolves into Jon taking charge.


[page eleven]
Keith/Rachel. Hooker roleplay.


[page twelve]
2) Correspondents have set up hidden camera in Jon's office, broadcast J/S sekrit lunchtiem sexxins over closed-circuit TV within building(?), in the form of news bulletin, with "experts" and whatever. Demetri gives sports report-type analysis, drawing lines and pictures over video.
John Oliver/Andy Zaltzman. Andy will only have sex with John if he dresses like Florence Nightingale. Lots of giggly-sex ensues!
Hannity/Colmes/O'Reilly. Theme: "Get your hands off my liberal!"



ETA: I don't know that I would say this is entirely closed--certainly, if you'd like to fill any unfilled prompts, I would say to go for it. But if you would like to request anything new, I think you'd have a much better chance of it in 's more recent Pundit Kink Meme 2.0.

Tags:

Comments

(Anonymous)
Feb. 19th, 2009 08:42 pm (UTC)
"Stephen"/Jon. D/s, "Stephen" trying to be assertive, but quickly it all devolves into Jon taking charge.
(Anonymous)
Feb. 19th, 2009 08:52 pm (UTC)
WANT. Oh, Stephen, don't ever think you're anything other than the needy little sub you are.
(Anonymous)
Feb. 21st, 2009 08:10 am (UTC)
This shall be written this weekend! (Or as soon as my co-writer gives me some prompts for what Jon should do to Stephen *evil grin*)
(Anonymous)
Feb. 26th, 2009 12:51 am (UTC)
Show Him Who's Boss - Jon/"Stephen" - NC/17
Jon slid into his bed with a comforting sigh, thinking maybe he was set to have an early night; probably the first one in a good five years. He closed his eyes and tried to think of absolutely nothing, right before he heard the sound of his front door clicking open.

"Jon! Jon, where are you?"

The man rolled onto his back, staring up at his ceiling in disbelief. He trudged out of his warm bed and found some clothes to throw on to meet his intruder.

"Oh good, you're awake."

"Stephen, what the hell are you doing here?"

Stephen was pawing through Jon's bookcase with a sneer; probably counting up just how many un-American books he owned.

"I just thought I'd come say hello."

"Stephen, how did you get the key to my front door?"

"I copied it. You shouldn't leave your keys lying around in your pants pocket for anyone to grab in the middle of a kiss."

Jon did what he always did when he heard something so ridiculous. He laughed. "Stephen, you can't just steal my--"

"So I was thinking," Stephen declared, "that we should maybe try some new things."

"New things?" Jon repeated.

"Yes, Jon. Well we've established that somehow you tying me up and spanking me is very pleasing for both of us, so maybe this time you should use that paddle you own or something similar. I don't suppose you've got a ruler around, do you? Or maybe you could tie..."

Jon pretended to keep listening but really all he could hear was a faint buzz in his ear, drowned out by his own mind screaming in rage. That hit a nerve. He could handle Stephen's bullying and malicious acts better than anyone he knew, but Stephen trying to top from bottom was just not on. The only time Jon was dominant was in the bedroom, where he could act as mean and cold-hearted as he liked, so long as the other person was enjoying it. It was his personal sanctuary. His kingdom.

And not even Stephen Colbert was going to change that.

"...What do you think?" Stephen asked, but only as an afterthought. He had already planned out the whole night, anyway.

"Great," Jon lied through his teeth, Stephen unable to hear sarcasm unless it was a direct affront to his reputation. "How about you get down on your knees?"

Stephen grinned in excitement and knelt down with a happy little bounce. Jon went to grab his box of toys and returned with his first piece of equipment already in hand. He walked behind Stephen and cuffed his hands together with rigid leather that had no chain and therefore no give. Stephen kept grinning, even pretending to try to escape from them, like he was a damsel in distress.

"Great, Jon, now how about you...?"

His words were cut short as a large, red rubber ball was wedged between his teeth and leather straps attached to it were buckled at the back of his neck.

"How about I what, Stephen, hm?" Jon asked casually. Stephen moaned loudly and he pretended to look confused. "I'm sorry, I can't seem to hear you."

Stephen struggled for a moment, before he saw the object in Jon's hands. He was used to a soft paddle at the very worst; not a stiff cane that looked like it could do some real damage.

"I will spank you if I have to, don't you worry. Now, are you going to let me run this or not?"

Stephen glared at him, sort of like a child who had been told he couldn't get any candy. He nodded in defeat.

"Good." Jon pushed Stephen forward so he fell on his front and got to work securing him. He tied his feet together with similar cuffs as the ones on his wrists and then clipped both sets together, making an effective hogtie. That in place, he got to work cutting away Stephen's precious suit (which he always insisted on wearing unless it was absolutely necessary he be naked) and Stephen whined just because if he didn't make some sort of rebuttal, he wouldn't feel like he was functioning as a human being.
(Anonymous)
Feb. 26th, 2009 12:52 am (UTC)
Show Him Who's Boss - Jon/"Stephen" - NC/17 (2)
Jon stood back up and took a few paces back to drink in what he had created. Stephen looked up to him in his sad little way, trying his hardest to still not look like some kind of victim. His master covered his mouth as he let out a tired yawn and stretched his arms.

"Well Stephen, seeing as you're not going anywhere and you disturbed me right when I was planning on going to sleep, I'm going to take a nap."

Stephen's protests sounded like he was trying to pronounce a bowl of alphabet soup. Jon smiled and he crouched down to stroke his hair gently.

"Ssh, I'll pay attention to you later."

He picked up a leather collar from his collection and buckled it tightly around Stephen's neck, massaging his shoulders and forcing him to relax. Then he pulled out a leash, shortened it and clipped one end to the collar and the other around one of the sofa legs. Stephen could struggle all he liked but he would only be able to move two feet at best. As a matter of safety, Jon switched on a baby monitor and placed it on the coffee table right beside his bound sub, and picked up the other monitor to take into the bedroom with him. He gave Stephen a pat on the forehead and headed for the bedroom, making a point to slam the door behind him. He set his alarm for three hours later and took great joy in listening to Stephen's futile struggles as he shut his eyes.

When the alarm sounded, it took him a moment to remember just what he had planned for his evenings entertainment. He took his time getting up and finally opened the bedroom door to see Stephen laying quite docilely, looking his way in desperation for him to return.

"Aw, see, that's all I ask for. You being all willing and accepting that this is how it is when you're with me."

He untied Stephen's hands and feet from each other but left the cuffs on. The collar was untied from the sofa leg and Jon pulled the leash tightly, urging Stephen to follow him on his hands and knees. When they reached the bedroom, Jon pulled Stephen to his feet and pushed him over the foot of the bed, forcing him to bend over. His wrists were spread wide and cuffed to the posts at about waist height, and his legs were pulled as wide apart as they would go, cuffed to the legs of the bed. Jon then knelt on the end of the bed and pulled Stephen's head up.

He pulled the gag off of him and let him take a few long, breaths. Knowing Stephen was about to say something that would either be funny and kill the mood or angry and only make it worse for himself, Jon picked up a large open-wide gag and buckled it on. Stephen gazed at him with softened, fully submissive eyes and Jon couldn't help but take care of him for a few moments, rubbing his naked body and relaxing him.
(Anonymous)
Feb. 26th, 2009 12:52 am (UTC)
Show Him Who's Boss - Jon/"Stephen" - NC/17 (3)
When Stephen's eyes closed and he tried to murmur how good he felt, Jon got off the bed and found the other toy he had in store. It was the sort that they only used on special occasions but the image in his head was just too perfect not to miss. He made sure the steel object was thoroughly coated in lube before he showed it to his sub. Stephen whined and moaned and Jon took that to be a good sign. After a few strokes of Stephen's ass, he inserted the anal hook right to curvature and gave Stephen only a moment to get used to it before he got to work on the next step.

He picked up a length of soft rope and hooked it under the back of the collar and gag and tied the other end off to the ring at the base of the hook, pulling it just enough so Stephen's head was forced back and he stared straight ahead. Then Jon took his place on the bed, pulling off his boxers and kneeling in front of Stephen's widened mouth.

Without a word, he thrust into Stephen's mouth, grabbing hair just behind his ears and forcing him to move in rhythm to his master. Stephen groaned as the hook inside him began to shift every time Jon worked his mouth around his dick and the low vibrations it caused made Jon rock even harder and faster. He treated Stephen like the fucktoy he was, not even looking him in the eye and he bit his bottom lip and threw his head back. As he worked faster and even harder Stephen could only force his throat muscles to relax as it hit the back of his throat over and over.

When Jon was nearing the finish line, he pulled Stephen towards him and made him wait, five, ten, fifteen, twenty seconds as he held his mouth so far down his dick Stephen couldn't breathe. His little splutters for air only made his tongue flick against the underside of Jon's straining erection and that was what teetered his master over the edge, coming with a loud grunt and finally letting Stephen breathe only to swallow down every last drop.

Ten minutes later, when Jon was finally ready to haul himself back up from where he had collapsed on the bed, he reached for the rope and untied it along with the gag. Stephen gulped and sighed gratefully and let out a shower of 'Thank you's as the hook was pulled out.

Jon cleaned it up before placing it aside and watched Stephen resting against the bed, looking at least a little tired. Unfortunately, due to the nap, Jon was feeling more refreshed than ever and figured he had at least one more go in him.

He pushed the ball gag back into Stephen's mouth who watched him in confusion. Jon then gave his ass a hard slap to hear him whine before slapping the other cheek. He planned on doing this until he was hard again and then fucking Stephen with a heated frenzy. Then he might untie him, but he didn't count on it.

It wasn't one of Stephen's more comfortable nights.
(Anonymous)
Feb. 26th, 2009 06:49 am (UTC)
Re: Show Him Who's Boss - Jon/"Stephen" - NC/17 (3)
Dude.

Not the OP but jeebus, that was crazy hot.
(Anonymous)
Feb. 26th, 2009 03:17 pm (UTC)
Re: Show Him Who's Boss - Jon/"Stephen" - NC/17 (3)
He treated Stephen like the fucktoy he was

HOLY FUCK, YES. YES.
(Anonymous)
Feb. 27th, 2009 08:48 am (UTC)
Re: Show Him Who's Boss - Jon/"Stephen" - NC/17 (3)
FAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAP

HOLY GOD. DOM!JON YES PLEASE.

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