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Feb. 6th, 2009

The Pundits Kink Meme v. 1.0
(Including The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, MSNBC, CNN or whatever other pundits you would like with whomever you'd like to request them with)

For those of you who haven't ever seen a kink meme (you are in for a treat), the instructions:

1- Choose a pairing.
2- Choose a kink. If you need some sort of reference, there's this list of kinks.
3- Your comment should be anonymous! All part of the fun.
4- For every request you make, please try to fill at least one! This doesn't work quite as well if all we have are requests


Let's get this party started!

eta: Just a reminder that while this is the kink meme for pundits (and whomever you feel like pairing them with), there is another kink meme for Rahmdom/Politifandom if all you want are the politicians.

eta 2: We'll see how this goes, but I'm going to try to update at least once a day with links to the written prompts on each page. I'm just copy-pasting the original prompt and taking out any extra line-breaks, because actually stopping to read would make this task pretty well impossible. I considered doing this with unfilled as yet prompts, too, but you're all so amazingly prolific that the first is going to be trouble enough.

Also, I probably should have said this at the very first, but--I know this is a kink meme and totally anonymous, but let's try and remain respectful of each other. This is one of my favorite fandoms ever filled with fantastic people, so I'm sure you can all police yourselves pretty well.

[page one]
1) Anderson/Keith, Frottage, wherein it starts seemingly innocently (falling asleep somewhere together or the like) and ends with good old-fashioned dry-humping.
Keith/Rachel, ties
Jon/Stephen, friends masturbating together.
Stephen/Jon, Frantic frottage and/or coming in pants.
George Clooney/Jon, Orgasm denial and control. Maybe bondage, too, if you like.
Brian/Jon/Stephen. Erotic spanking. (Preferably in the vein of 'Brian spanks Stephen while Jon watches', but I am flexible!)
Anderson/Rachel, Bondage
John Oliver/Rob Riggle, public cross-dressing, coming out of the closet (not necessary)
Samantha Bee/Jason Jones, strap-on sex
jon/anderson, lewd scrabble.
Jon/Denis Leary, Stephen watches
Jon/character!Stephen, shower sex
Rachel/Ana, bodyswap
Keith/Anderson, crossdressing


[page two]
Jon/John, D/s with Jon as a possesive top, marking/biting most welcome!
Jon/Stephen. Before being hired to work for "The Daily Show," Stephen was a male prostitute.
Keith/Rachel, androgyny
Keith/Anderson, Public Sex in a gay bar/club.
Stephen Colbert/Kanye West: roleplay, use of ties as a means of tying, or blindfolds (or feel free to mix and match!).
Jon/voyeur!Stephen; Stephen watches Jon masturbate.
How about either body swap with Rachel and Keith or Jon/Stephen accidental arousment and/ or body swap.
Stephen/Jon, rentboy/prostitute roleplay
Keith/Anderson, Dirty Talk (Keith doing the dirty talking)
Jon/Denis Leary. Lazy drunken making out and frottage.
Keith/Rachel, begging and/or delayed gratification
Jon/Stephen, asphyxiation
Sean Hannity/Alan Colmes. Alpha male misses his punching bag.
Dev Patel/Jon: Some teasing, Loss of control, maybe a massage that leads elsewhere...Submissive Jon though
George Clooney/Jon Stewart | 'Vampire Fantasy'


[page three]
Keith/Rachel, jealousy
Keith/Rachel, drunk
Anderson Cooper/Michael Ware, on assignment overseas, Anderson as bottom, angst a plus, can just be a buddy fuck
Rachel/Keith, pegging, very dominant (but fun) Rachel 'punishing' Keith for flirting with her.
Rachel/Anderson/Keith, sucking dyke cock - preferably with Keith/Anderson established relationship
Jon/Stephen, Bloodplay. Go crazy on this.
Anderson/Reza Aslan, any kink
Bill O'Reilly/anybody
keith/rachel, student/teacher, preferably involving the time he taught her to read a teleprompter


[page four]
Jon/Denis Leary: the younger years involving Jon in drag and carsex.
Jon/Stephen. Exhibitionism/voyeurism. Frottage on live television. Can be TDS or TCR, I'm not picky.
Rachel Maddow/Female!Keith, Rachel can turn straight girls gay, Rachel dominates.
Keith, masturbation and having a fantasy about Anderson
Teenage Keith and Rachel, best friends, Rachel knows she's gay but thinks maybe she could turn straight if she had sex with a guy she loves. Sex is starts out slow, gets frantic as she tries to convince herself she likes it. Crying ensues after. (two fic)
Steve/Stephen: oral fixation, Yes. No. YES. NOOOOOOOO. Stephen knows his constant pen/fingerporn drives Steve crazy but Steve just won't admit it.
Jason/Jon, dirty-talk. Jon all tied up--Jason doesn't even need to touch Jon to make him come. Bonus points if it's because of Jason's voice!
John King/John Oliver. John O is trapped inside the Magic Touchscreen. John K uses this to his sadistic advantage.
Teenage Rachel/Unknown Woman in gay club (after Rachel's disasterous attempt at turning straight with Teen!Keith), Underage Rachel, older woman. Seduction. "You're a sweet thing."
Stephen/Jon/"Stephen" Just... anything, really.
"Stephen" masturbating, begins by thinking about turning Rachel Maddow straight, ends by thinking of dominating the dirty liberal-jew that is Jon.


[page five]
Jason and Sam tag-team Jon (spanking, voyerism, penetration)
Stephen"/Jon. "Stephen" keeps Jon in the cage beneath his desk. Stockholme Syndrome, reward/punishment, hurt/comfort and name-calling
John Oliver, scarf bondage (http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=215337&title=Scumdog-Million-Hairs). Doesn't matter who with. Just. Scarves. Scarves and filthy bondage depravity plz.
Some good, old-fashioned Jon/"Stephen", with "Stephen" being the needy, needy sub that he so desperately is.
1) Rachel/girl!Keith - Keith has to go to a black tie event, even though he's not used to his new body. Rachel helps. Corset-play. 2) Rachel/girl!Keith with Anderson watching. Established Keith/Anderson before the...whatever made Keith a girl.
1 Anderson/Keith, historical, gilded age setting.2 aristocracy, power reversal, washing.
Stephen/Jon, fucked out, marking by biting or bruises. Top Stephen.
Rachel/girl!Keith, tribadism, exploration, laughter


[page six]
Keith/Rachel, exhibitionism, semi-public sex would be awesome!
Keith/Rachel/Ana, mindgames. Keith catches Rachel and Ana together.
so, who wants to write keith/pregnant!rachel? it need not be keith's kid. just, you know, keith wants kids, keith wants rachel, ergo pregnant!rachel would probably kill keith dead with want.
Rachel/Hannity, gender roles
Stephen/Paul/Amy, anal sex with strap-on, living together in a three-way relationship
John Oliver/Andy Zaltzman. They're together to record The Bugle. The action starts as they are recording and ends in mind-blowing sexy sex.
"Stephen" watches Jon Stewart interview Papa Bear and fantasizes about Papa Bear fucking Jon and making him beg for forgiveness (for of all things the panda-bear/teddy-bear argument)


[page seven]
Jon/Stephen. One starts giving the other a handjob/blowjob while the receiver is asleep. Lazy, sleepy sex ensues.
Pretty much anything with Aasif in. Where's the Aasif-love, fandom?
Ollie/Jon - Jon sees just what it takes to make John break concentration. Based on this segment: http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=165516&title=Britain%27s-Fallen-Soldiers
Keith, Rachel, and lesbian porn -- preferably from the "just two buddies watching porn" angle. Because I apparently really like to torture Keith.
Rachel/female!Keith - Rachel takes recently girlified Keith bra shopping. Public sex in the changing rooms.
Jon/Stephen; crying, Election night. After the Indecision special, they skip the parties and the drinks and go fuck in celebration. Kind of in the same vein as this (http://community.livejournal.com/rahmbamarama/285245.html) drabble. <3<3
Rachel Maddow, Michelle Obama, or Hillary Clinton/Sarah Palin, unexpected arousal


[page eight]
Keith/Rachel, A joyous, spontaneous Election Night kiss turns into unexpected Election Night sexin'. (two fic)
Keith/Rachel, piercings -- bonus points for vaguely dom!Keith
"Stephen"/Female!Jon. Stephen will only do Jon if he's a woman, and surely enough, one night, he dreams of Jon transforming into into a woman...completely at Stephen's mercy.
Rachel comes on the Daily Show, Stephen watches it. Fantasy of threesome ensues where he dominates them both. (Deep-throating, both Rachel and Jon tied to a large bed.)
Rachel/Girl!Keith, Rachel teaches Girl!Keith how to use a vibrator


[page nine]
sexless erotica pls? keith/rachel, forced to share a bed, heat (ex: dead of summer, broken air conditioner)
Jon/Anderson, Jon knows how to make Anderson laugh and make him feel safe (d/s is okay)


[page ten]
Rachel/Keith. Rachel never found Keith attractive until she discovered him wearing a dress. Crossdressing; Rachel topping and in charge.
Brian Williams/Jon Stewart, mad flirting (teasing and goading) during an interview goes too far, dry-humping on the desk. Made even better if no one else realizes what's going on, they make a joke of it, but both really get off on it.
Kristen Schaal, masturbation, against a washer on spin cycle, with or without a partner.
Rachel/Ana/Keith - Ana teaches Rachel how to suck dick
Jon/"Stephen" Heated but affectionate making out and frottage with "Stephen" being vulnerable.
Jon/Keith/Rachel. Preferably affectionate and domestic but dark and angst-y works too. Bonus points for Stephen and/or Anderson finding out and being all "...the HELL?"
"Stephen"/Jon. D/s, "Stephen" trying to be assertive, but quickly it all devolves into Jon taking charge.


[page eleven]
Keith/Rachel. Hooker roleplay.


[page twelve]
2) Correspondents have set up hidden camera in Jon's office, broadcast J/S sekrit lunchtiem sexxins over closed-circuit TV within building(?), in the form of news bulletin, with "experts" and whatever. Demetri gives sports report-type analysis, drawing lines and pictures over video.
John Oliver/Andy Zaltzman. Andy will only have sex with John if he dresses like Florence Nightingale. Lots of giggly-sex ensues!
Hannity/Colmes/O'Reilly. Theme: "Get your hands off my liberal!"



ETA: I don't know that I would say this is entirely closed--certainly, if you'd like to fill any unfilled prompts, I would say to go for it. But if you would like to request anything new, I think you'd have a much better chance of it in 's more recent Pundit Kink Meme 2.0.

Tags:

Comments

(Anonymous)
Feb. 7th, 2009 07:09 am (UTC)
ties that bind, anderson/rachel & implied anderson/keith, bondage [2/2]
His thumb pressing in the hollow between two ribs, Anderson takes his mouth away from Rachel's breast with one last slow, lazy swipe of his tongue. She moans, exhausted, her arms relaxing against her restraints as she tries to breathe, tries to think about something other than the aching want that has slid from her breasts to the spot between her thighs.

It doesn't work. Anderson's fingers, they wrap loosely around the zipper of her jeans, pulling so slowly that she can feel the teeth release, little by precious little, small vibrations that go straight to her clit, make her tug once more against the ties, feeling the subtle burn of silver threads against her wrist as her hips lift from the mattress.

His hand dips into the front of jeans, sliding beneath the waistband of her cotton briefs, certain until his fingertips brush her curls. He looks at her then, makes eye contact as he seeks permission. She grants it wordlessly, her lips pressing together, her eyebrow arching, and then Anderson's fingers are inside her, two of them in one quick push, no timidity, no hesitance.

She's not ready, not expecting it, and her hips buck hard as she pulls against her restraints with her whole body, writhing when Anderson turns his attention to her clit before she can recover, her shoulder muscles screaming in counterpoint to the way his finger plays across her clit, making her lightheaded with a skill he shouldn't even have. Her hands clench into fists, nails biting into her palms, and, distantly, she can hear her own voice saying something over and over and over as Anderson makes her come with his hand down her pants and Keith's ties around her wrists.

When Anderson takes his hand out of her pants, trailing dampness low across her stomach, that's when Rachel remembers to breathe, her breath coming in the same deep inhalations as earlier, the kind that let her feel the restrictiveness of her pushed-up t-shirt with each expansion of her lungs. She can't, doesn't hold her breath this time, doesn't try to hold on to that feeling. Instead, she concentrates on the slow evening of her breathing as she watches Anderson fasten her jeans, roll down her shirt, and reach up to untie her restraints, carefully rolling the ties up.

Her arms are still stretched above her head, kept there voluntarily, when Anderson bends down to kiss her, a quick brush of his lips against hers.

"I'm going to go give Keith his ties back," he says.



-end-
(Anonymous)
Feb. 7th, 2009 10:52 am (UTC)
Re: ties that bind, anderson/rachel & implied anderson/keith, bondage [2/2]
I don't do het in this fandom, especially not with Rachel, but this was gorgeous. Gay Andy/gay Rachel works. Weirdly enough.

*hugs this fic*
(Anonymous)
Feb. 7th, 2009 03:00 pm (UTC)
Re: ties that bind, anderson/rachel & implied anderson/keith, bondage [2/2]
I have no idea how you took that paring and made it SO FUCKING AWESOME.
(Anonymous)
Feb. 7th, 2009 03:14 pm (UTC)
Re: ties that bind, anderson/rachel & implied anderson/keith, bondage [2/2]
This was sooo good, thank you!
(Anonymous)
Feb. 8th, 2009 10:16 pm (UTC)
Re: ties that bind, anderson/rachel & implied anderson/keith, bondage [2/2]
Holy fuck that was incredibly hot.. *shiver* I secretely love this pairing and find it oddly fascinating with the possibilities of mutual exploration and uncertainty. And oh my god Keith's ties... guh. So good, so so hot.
(Anonymous)
Feb. 9th, 2009 12:15 am (UTC)
Re: ties that bind, anderson/rachel & implied anderson/keith, bondage [2/2]
Christ, that's hot. (And having him use Keith's ties....GUH.)

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