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Feb. 6th, 2009

The Pundits Kink Meme v. 1.0
(Including The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, MSNBC, CNN or whatever other pundits you would like with whomever you'd like to request them with)

For those of you who haven't ever seen a kink meme (you are in for a treat), the instructions:

1- Choose a pairing.
2- Choose a kink. If you need some sort of reference, there's this list of kinks.
3- Your comment should be anonymous! All part of the fun.
4- For every request you make, please try to fill at least one! This doesn't work quite as well if all we have are requests

Let's get this party started!

eta: Just a reminder that while this is the kink meme for pundits (and whomever you feel like pairing them with), there is another kink meme for Rahmdom/Politifandom if all you want are the politicians.

eta 2: We'll see how this goes, but I'm going to try to update at least once a day with links to the written prompts on each page. I'm just copy-pasting the original prompt and taking out any extra line-breaks, because actually stopping to read would make this task pretty well impossible. I considered doing this with unfilled as yet prompts, too, but you're all so amazingly prolific that the first is going to be trouble enough.

Also, I probably should have said this at the very first, but--I know this is a kink meme and totally anonymous, but let's try and remain respectful of each other. This is one of my favorite fandoms ever filled with fantastic people, so I'm sure you can all police yourselves pretty well.

[page one]
1) Anderson/Keith, Frottage, wherein it starts seemingly innocently (falling asleep somewhere together or the like) and ends with good old-fashioned dry-humping.
Keith/Rachel, ties
Jon/Stephen, friends masturbating together.
Stephen/Jon, Frantic frottage and/or coming in pants.
George Clooney/Jon, Orgasm denial and control. Maybe bondage, too, if you like.
Brian/Jon/Stephen. Erotic spanking. (Preferably in the vein of 'Brian spanks Stephen while Jon watches', but I am flexible!)
Anderson/Rachel, Bondage
John Oliver/Rob Riggle, public cross-dressing, coming out of the closet (not necessary)
Samantha Bee/Jason Jones, strap-on sex
jon/anderson, lewd scrabble.
Jon/Denis Leary, Stephen watches
Jon/character!Stephen, shower sex
Rachel/Ana, bodyswap
Keith/Anderson, crossdressing

[page two]
Jon/John, D/s with Jon as a possesive top, marking/biting most welcome!
Jon/Stephen. Before being hired to work for "The Daily Show," Stephen was a male prostitute.
Keith/Rachel, androgyny
Keith/Anderson, Public Sex in a gay bar/club.
Stephen Colbert/Kanye West: roleplay, use of ties as a means of tying, or blindfolds (or feel free to mix and match!).
Jon/voyeur!Stephen; Stephen watches Jon masturbate.
How about either body swap with Rachel and Keith or Jon/Stephen accidental arousment and/ or body swap.
Stephen/Jon, rentboy/prostitute roleplay
Keith/Anderson, Dirty Talk (Keith doing the dirty talking)
Jon/Denis Leary. Lazy drunken making out and frottage.
Keith/Rachel, begging and/or delayed gratification
Jon/Stephen, asphyxiation
Sean Hannity/Alan Colmes. Alpha male misses his punching bag.
Dev Patel/Jon: Some teasing, Loss of control, maybe a massage that leads elsewhere...Submissive Jon though
George Clooney/Jon Stewart | 'Vampire Fantasy'

[page three]
Keith/Rachel, jealousy
Keith/Rachel, drunk
Anderson Cooper/Michael Ware, on assignment overseas, Anderson as bottom, angst a plus, can just be a buddy fuck
Rachel/Keith, pegging, very dominant (but fun) Rachel 'punishing' Keith for flirting with her.
Rachel/Anderson/Keith, sucking dyke cock - preferably with Keith/Anderson established relationship
Jon/Stephen, Bloodplay. Go crazy on this.
Anderson/Reza Aslan, any kink
Bill O'Reilly/anybody
keith/rachel, student/teacher, preferably involving the time he taught her to read a teleprompter

[page four]
Jon/Denis Leary: the younger years involving Jon in drag and carsex.
Jon/Stephen. Exhibitionism/voyeurism. Frottage on live television. Can be TDS or TCR, I'm not picky.
Rachel Maddow/Female!Keith, Rachel can turn straight girls gay, Rachel dominates.
Keith, masturbation and having a fantasy about Anderson
Teenage Keith and Rachel, best friends, Rachel knows she's gay but thinks maybe she could turn straight if she had sex with a guy she loves. Sex is starts out slow, gets frantic as she tries to convince herself she likes it. Crying ensues after. (two fic)
Steve/Stephen: oral fixation, Yes. No. YES. NOOOOOOOO. Stephen knows his constant pen/fingerporn drives Steve crazy but Steve just won't admit it.
Jason/Jon, dirty-talk. Jon all tied up--Jason doesn't even need to touch Jon to make him come. Bonus points if it's because of Jason's voice!
John King/John Oliver. John O is trapped inside the Magic Touchscreen. John K uses this to his sadistic advantage.
Teenage Rachel/Unknown Woman in gay club (after Rachel's disasterous attempt at turning straight with Teen!Keith), Underage Rachel, older woman. Seduction. "You're a sweet thing."
Stephen/Jon/"Stephen" Just... anything, really.
"Stephen" masturbating, begins by thinking about turning Rachel Maddow straight, ends by thinking of dominating the dirty liberal-jew that is Jon.

[page five]
Jason and Sam tag-team Jon (spanking, voyerism, penetration)
Stephen"/Jon. "Stephen" keeps Jon in the cage beneath his desk. Stockholme Syndrome, reward/punishment, hurt/comfort and name-calling
John Oliver, scarf bondage (http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=215337&title=Scumdog-Million-Hairs). Doesn't matter who with. Just. Scarves. Scarves and filthy bondage depravity plz.
Some good, old-fashioned Jon/"Stephen", with "Stephen" being the needy, needy sub that he so desperately is.
1) Rachel/girl!Keith - Keith has to go to a black tie event, even though he's not used to his new body. Rachel helps. Corset-play. 2) Rachel/girl!Keith with Anderson watching. Established Keith/Anderson before the...whatever made Keith a girl.
1 Anderson/Keith, historical, gilded age setting.2 aristocracy, power reversal, washing.
Stephen/Jon, fucked out, marking by biting or bruises. Top Stephen.
Rachel/girl!Keith, tribadism, exploration, laughter

[page six]
Keith/Rachel, exhibitionism, semi-public sex would be awesome!
Keith/Rachel/Ana, mindgames. Keith catches Rachel and Ana together.
so, who wants to write keith/pregnant!rachel? it need not be keith's kid. just, you know, keith wants kids, keith wants rachel, ergo pregnant!rachel would probably kill keith dead with want.
Rachel/Hannity, gender roles
Stephen/Paul/Amy, anal sex with strap-on, living together in a three-way relationship
John Oliver/Andy Zaltzman. They're together to record The Bugle. The action starts as they are recording and ends in mind-blowing sexy sex.
"Stephen" watches Jon Stewart interview Papa Bear and fantasizes about Papa Bear fucking Jon and making him beg for forgiveness (for of all things the panda-bear/teddy-bear argument)

[page seven]
Jon/Stephen. One starts giving the other a handjob/blowjob while the receiver is asleep. Lazy, sleepy sex ensues.
Pretty much anything with Aasif in. Where's the Aasif-love, fandom?
Ollie/Jon - Jon sees just what it takes to make John break concentration. Based on this segment: http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=165516&title=Britain%27s-Fallen-Soldiers
Keith, Rachel, and lesbian porn -- preferably from the "just two buddies watching porn" angle. Because I apparently really like to torture Keith.
Rachel/female!Keith - Rachel takes recently girlified Keith bra shopping. Public sex in the changing rooms.
Jon/Stephen; crying, Election night. After the Indecision special, they skip the parties and the drinks and go fuck in celebration. Kind of in the same vein as this (http://community.livejournal.com/rahmbamarama/285245.html) drabble. <3<3
Rachel Maddow, Michelle Obama, or Hillary Clinton/Sarah Palin, unexpected arousal

[page eight]
Keith/Rachel, A joyous, spontaneous Election Night kiss turns into unexpected Election Night sexin'. (two fic)
Keith/Rachel, piercings -- bonus points for vaguely dom!Keith
"Stephen"/Female!Jon. Stephen will only do Jon if he's a woman, and surely enough, one night, he dreams of Jon transforming into into a woman...completely at Stephen's mercy.
Rachel comes on the Daily Show, Stephen watches it. Fantasy of threesome ensues where he dominates them both. (Deep-throating, both Rachel and Jon tied to a large bed.)
Rachel/Girl!Keith, Rachel teaches Girl!Keith how to use a vibrator

[page nine]
sexless erotica pls? keith/rachel, forced to share a bed, heat (ex: dead of summer, broken air conditioner)
Jon/Anderson, Jon knows how to make Anderson laugh and make him feel safe (d/s is okay)

[page ten]
Rachel/Keith. Rachel never found Keith attractive until she discovered him wearing a dress. Crossdressing; Rachel topping and in charge.
Brian Williams/Jon Stewart, mad flirting (teasing and goading) during an interview goes too far, dry-humping on the desk. Made even better if no one else realizes what's going on, they make a joke of it, but both really get off on it.
Kristen Schaal, masturbation, against a washer on spin cycle, with or without a partner.
Rachel/Ana/Keith - Ana teaches Rachel how to suck dick
Jon/"Stephen" Heated but affectionate making out and frottage with "Stephen" being vulnerable.
Jon/Keith/Rachel. Preferably affectionate and domestic but dark and angst-y works too. Bonus points for Stephen and/or Anderson finding out and being all "...the HELL?"
"Stephen"/Jon. D/s, "Stephen" trying to be assertive, but quickly it all devolves into Jon taking charge.

[page eleven]
Keith/Rachel. Hooker roleplay.

[page twelve]
2) Correspondents have set up hidden camera in Jon's office, broadcast J/S sekrit lunchtiem sexxins over closed-circuit TV within building(?), in the form of news bulletin, with "experts" and whatever. Demetri gives sports report-type analysis, drawing lines and pictures over video.
John Oliver/Andy Zaltzman. Andy will only have sex with John if he dresses like Florence Nightingale. Lots of giggly-sex ensues!
Hannity/Colmes/O'Reilly. Theme: "Get your hands off my liberal!"

ETA: I don't know that I would say this is entirely closed--certainly, if you'd like to fill any unfilled prompts, I would say to go for it. But if you would like to request anything new, I think you'd have a much better chance of it in 's more recent Pundit Kink Meme 2.0.



Feb. 6th, 2009 06:56 am (UTC)
John Oliver/Rob Riggle
public cross-dressing
coming out of the closet (not necessary)
Feb. 9th, 2009 08:15 pm (UTC)
Almost Normal
At a pinch, John could just about manage to walk out of his bedroom dolled up without quickly turning back to running back inside to pretend nothing had ever happened. When Rob asked him to accompany him to a cross-dressing party, it was like he was asking a sloth to peel itself off its tree, run the New York marathon and then take down a panther. Within two minutes.

"I'll be there," Rob reassured before he even waited for John's reply.

"Somehow that doesn't help," his boyfriend muttered, his teeth holding back most of the volume and diction as they clenched tightly together.

"I'll buy you something for it. Something... flattering," Rob tried.

He couldn't believe it when he said it, but sometimes even Rob was surprised by John's 'oh fuck it' attitude.

"Fine. Buy me that vintage Chanel dress we saw in SoHo the other week. And don't you dare leave my side for the entire evening."


The party didn't exactly have a cross-dressing theme as an all-out kink theme. So many had donned leather fetish gear the smell of hide hit people when they opened the front door like stale cigarettes. Which meant when John walked in, heels clicking, purse in hand, a shawl hiding his manly shoulders and pearls setting off his dress, he looked almost tame. Almost normal. Having nearly asked the cabbie to pull over about five times so he could vomit on the way over, it was exactly what he needed in order to feel comfortable.

Two hours later, John was sitting up on the counter in the spacious bathrooms as Rob ran his hand up and down his lover's stockinged legs. John couldn't stop a smirk as he applied a touch more lipstick if nothing but for effect.

"So, good idea?" Rob asked as John turned towards the mirror behind him.

"I honestly thought people would give just a little more of a shit."

"We run in weird circles." Rob made his fingers tip-toe up John's thigh. He checked the door and began to pull down his underwear with a confident smirk.

"You're not wanking me off in a five hundred dollar dress."

"Four hundred and fifty," Rob corrected. "I know how to haggle."

"'Got a better plan," John jumped off the counter and skittered over to the door to lock it. Turning back, he tapped his left heel for a moment in thought before walking back over and pushing Rob up onto the counter instead. There, he helped Rob unzip his fly and unbutton his jeans.

From a few flicks of a wrist, Rob had gone from half-mast to a painful erection, never good at holding off when it came to John's handiwork. Seeing as the party was in still full swing and they had only so long before people would be hammering to take a leak, John curled his fingers at the base and rested on hand on the counter as he bent down to reach his target. With a slow exhale of warm air on the very tip, Rob's hips buckled impatiently already and he kept his eyes firmly on the action in front of him as he watched his own dick disappear into John's mouth.

"Jeeesus." He managed to make John choke from laughing but neither seemed to care. In fact, as John hollowed his cheeks and used his tongue to massage the underside, Rob had given up caring about pretty much anything. John's eyes shut as he concentrated on slowly sucking up to the very tip, his hand still twisting and squeezing at a random frequency. Rob couldn't watch any more, as much as he loved watching those painted lips devoting themselves to him, and his head hit the glass behind him as he grunted for more.

Hands and lips worked in rhythm and Rob couldn't even give a warning as his whole body clenched up. He was roused minutes later by John still sucking and licking playfully and he leaned forward to pull him into a kiss.

They walked out of the party hand in hand, both forgetting they were supposed to be just friends, or any embarrassments they were supposed to have. It felt just right.
Feb. 9th, 2009 09:27 pm (UTC)

That was wonderful. I LOVE John in drag.
Feb. 9th, 2009 10:16 pm (UTC)
Re: OP
Why thank you! That prompt seems to have killed my writer's block so I must extend my hat to you too. :)
Feb. 10th, 2009 01:10 am (UTC)
Re: OP

Feb. 10th, 2009 09:42 pm (UTC)
Re: OP
*disappears in a puff of smoke* Muhahahaha!
Feb. 10th, 2009 09:43 pm (UTC)
Re: OP

I <3 you.
Feb. 10th, 2009 11:10 pm (UTC)
Re: OP

ILU2. =D
Feb. 10th, 2009 12:44 am (UTC)
Re: Almost Normal
Unf yes someone finally wrote this! John in a dress is just hot.
Feb. 12th, 2009 07:46 am (UTC)
Re: Almost Normal
Holy fuck... with a mind like that, you've got a lucky girlfriend/boyfriend/whatever, whoever you are. ;^)
Feb. 27th, 2009 11:19 pm (UTC)
Re: Almost Normal
I know you too!! (Lucky me)

Inspired, the whole thing is in inspired! I can't decide which I like better, this exchange:

"You're not wanking me off in a five hundred dollar dress."

"Four hundred and fifty," Rob corrected. "I know how to haggle."

or the vision of John applying lipstick while Rob is mesmerized by his bestockinged legs. Rawr!

This story gave me a clear vision of Amy banging on the door with a closed fist yelling "Make it snappy you homos, the hostess has to piss!" or some such (because in my mind this is so Amy's party).

Love this!
Feb. 28th, 2009 02:27 am (UTC)
Re: Almost Normal
because in my mind this is so Amy's party

Absotively! Who else would host such a shindig? ;) (And now I'm thinking she was in a full leather catsuit. RAWR.)

And the lipstick thing... sigh. Why is it I swoon so much over a hair man in drag? (Jon Stewart in a prom dress, I'm looking at you too! *glares*)
Mar. 5th, 2009 09:43 am (UTC)
Re: Almost Normal
YUMMY YUMMY YUM. Bunk tiemz 4 me nao, methinks.

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