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Feb. 6th, 2009

The Pundits Kink Meme v. 1.0
(Including The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, MSNBC, CNN or whatever other pundits you would like with whomever you'd like to request them with)

For those of you who haven't ever seen a kink meme (you are in for a treat), the instructions:

1- Choose a pairing.
2- Choose a kink. If you need some sort of reference, there's this list of kinks.
3- Your comment should be anonymous! All part of the fun.
4- For every request you make, please try to fill at least one! This doesn't work quite as well if all we have are requests


Let's get this party started!

eta: Just a reminder that while this is the kink meme for pundits (and whomever you feel like pairing them with), there is another kink meme for Rahmdom/Politifandom if all you want are the politicians.

eta 2: We'll see how this goes, but I'm going to try to update at least once a day with links to the written prompts on each page. I'm just copy-pasting the original prompt and taking out any extra line-breaks, because actually stopping to read would make this task pretty well impossible. I considered doing this with unfilled as yet prompts, too, but you're all so amazingly prolific that the first is going to be trouble enough.

Also, I probably should have said this at the very first, but--I know this is a kink meme and totally anonymous, but let's try and remain respectful of each other. This is one of my favorite fandoms ever filled with fantastic people, so I'm sure you can all police yourselves pretty well.

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ETA: I don't know that I would say this is entirely closed--certainly, if you'd like to fill any unfilled prompts, I would say to go for it. But if you would like to request anything new, I think you'd have a much better chance of it in 's more recent Pundit Kink Meme 2.0.

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Comments

( 2216 comments — Leave a comment )
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(Anonymous)
Feb. 7th, 2009 03:50 am (UTC)
Jon/John Oliver hurt/comfort
rough sex (as means of catharsis)
AU - Obama lost the election
(Anonymous)
Feb. 7th, 2009 04:22 am (UTC)
Rachel/Keith, pegging, very dominant (but fun) Rachel 'punishing' Keith for flirting with her.
(Anonymous)
Feb. 11th, 2009 09:24 am (UTC)
On it.
Rachel/Keith - The Consequences of Flirtation - 2/3 - NC-17 - (Anonymous) - Feb. 11th, 2009 09:17 pm (UTC) - Expand
Rachel/Keith - The Consequences of Flirtation - 3/3 - NC-17 - (Anonymous) - Feb. 11th, 2009 09:28 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Rachel/Keith - The Consequences of Flirtation - 3/3 - NC-17 - (Anonymous) - Feb. 11th, 2009 09:36 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Rachel/Keith - The Consequences of Flirtation - 3/3 - NC-17 - (Anonymous) - Feb. 11th, 2009 10:19 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Rachel/Keith - The Consequences of Flirtation - 3/3 - NC-17 - (Anonymous) - Feb. 11th, 2009 09:36 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Rachel/Keith - The Consequences of Flirtation - 3/3 - NC-17 - (Anonymous) - Feb. 11th, 2009 09:48 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Rachel/Keith - The Consequences of Flirtation - 3/3 - NC-17 - (Anonymous) - Feb. 11th, 2009 10:16 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Rachel/Keith - The Consequences of Flirtation - 3/3 - NC-17 - (Anonymous) - Feb. 11th, 2009 10:50 pm (UTC) - Expand
OP IS DEAD WITH THE HAPPY x_x <3 - (Anonymous) - Feb. 12th, 2009 12:05 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: OP IS DEAD WITH THE HAPPY x_x <3 - (Anonymous) - Feb. 12th, 2009 02:54 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Anonymous)
Feb. 7th, 2009 05:23 am (UTC)
Rachel/Anderson/Keith, sucking dyke cock - preferably with Keith/Anderson established relationship
(Anonymous)
Feb. 8th, 2009 03:12 am (UTC)
would you like your kink with a toy!cock or real!dick? i ask because fandom does love some genderfuck.
(no subject) - (Anonymous) - Feb. 8th, 2009 06:26 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - (Anonymous) - Feb. 11th, 2009 03:11 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - (Anonymous) - Feb. 12th, 2009 12:06 pm (UTC) - Expand
untitled, rachel/anderson/keith, sucking dyke cock [1/2] - (Anonymous) - Feb. 18th, 2009 07:05 am (UTC) - Expand
untitled, rachel/anderson/keith, sucking dyke cock [2/3] - (Anonymous) - Feb. 18th, 2009 07:06 am (UTC) - Expand
untitled, rachel/anderson/keith, sucking dyke cock [3/3] - (Anonymous) - Feb. 18th, 2009 07:09 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: untitled, rachel/anderson/keith, sucking dyke cock [3/3] - (Anonymous) - Feb. 18th, 2009 07:11 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: untitled, rachel/anderson/keith, sucking dyke cock [3/3] - (Anonymous) - Feb. 18th, 2009 01:24 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: untitled, rachel/anderson/keith, sucking dyke cock [3/3] - (Anonymous) - Feb. 18th, 2009 12:17 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: untitled, rachel/anderson/keith, sucking dyke cock [3/3] - (Anonymous) - Feb. 19th, 2009 12:36 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: untitled, rachel/anderson/keith, sucking dyke cock [3/3] - (Anonymous) - Feb. 24th, 2009 05:37 am (UTC) - Expand
OP SAYS: YOU ARE THE BEST PERSON IN THE WOOOOOOOOORLD!!!!!!! - (Anonymous) - Feb. 24th, 2009 03:55 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: OP SAYS: YOU ARE THE BEST PERSON IN THE WOOOOOOOOORLD!!!!!!! - (Anonymous) - Feb. 24th, 2009 05:39 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: untitled, rachel/anderson/keith, sucking dyke cock [3/3] - (Anonymous) - Feb. 24th, 2009 02:00 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Anonymous)
Feb. 7th, 2009 07:11 am (UTC)
pairing: Rachel/any
kink: penetration with a foreign object
(Anonymous)
Feb. 7th, 2009 09:48 am (UTC)
Jon/Stephen
Bloodplay. Go crazy on this.
(Anonymous)
Feb. 8th, 2009 11:25 pm (UTC)
Happy Accident : Jon/Stephen : Bloodplay : NC-17 [1/2]
There’s a smashing sound and a muffled cry of Dammit!

Jon hurries through to the kitchen, absently calling “Are you alright?”

He finds Stephen standing in bare feet, surrounded by shards of exploded glass. His eyes are wide and frantic and blood is streaming from a deep laceration across his palm. Stephen stretches and holds his arm above his head in an attempt to stop the flow. A thick line of blood traces down over his exposed wrist and Jon swallows hard.

Jon steps forward, feeling small pieces of glass crunch beneath his shoes. He takes Stephen’s arm and pulls it down to his mouth, pressing his lips over Stephen’s wrist. He kisses lightly then looks up, his eyes searching Stephen’s for permission.

Stephen looks surprised, but his pupils are blown and he inclines his head in a nearly imperceptible nod.

Jon slips his tongue past his lips and runs it over the stripe of blood on Stephen’s arm. The sweet metal taste tingles and makes Jon ache with need. He gasps as he feels Stephen’s pulse fluttering against his mouth. He nibbles experimentally at the sensitive skin at Stephen’s wrist and can feel himself harden as Stephen’s breathing becomes louder and ragged.

Jon releases Stephen’s arm and hurriedly removes his tie and rips open his shirt. He wraps his hand over Stephen’s and squeezes it into a fist, blood creeping between Stephen’s fingers and coating his palm. Jon brings Stephen’s hand up to his bare chest and presses it flat over his pectoral, marvelling and the warm, slick feel of the blood. He wants Stephen to feel his heart racing too. His blood pumping.

Stephen understands. With his clean hand he grips Jon’s hips and pulls him flush close, so there can be no doubt where most of their blood is going. Jon’s breath catches in his throat as his erection rubs against Stephen’s and he can’t help himself. He pushes Stephen back a step, up against the kitchen counter, and crushes a fierce kiss to his lips. Stephen pulls back and Jon worries until he sees Stephen holding a piece of glass that had fallen on the worktop.

Wordlessly, Stephen brings the shard up to his mouth and, pouting slightly, drags the makeshift blade across the inside of his lower lip. He hisses sharply at the pain, but Jon’s mouth is quickly on his, both soothing and bruising with his assault of lips and tongue and teeth. His mouth fills with the taste of his own blood and Jon’s saliva and he groans and feels faintly light-headed as Jon’s arms wrap tightly around him and they’re grinding hard against each other, Stephen gripping the counter behind him for support.
Happy Accident : Jon/Stephen : Bloodplay : NC-17 [2/2] - (Anonymous) - Feb. 8th, 2009 11:26 pm (UTC) - Expand
Not OP but goddamn - (Anonymous) - Feb. 8th, 2009 11:49 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Happy Accident : Jon/Stephen : Bloodplay : NC-17 [2/2] - (Anonymous) - Feb. 9th, 2009 02:08 am (UTC) - Expand
OP - (Anonymous) - Feb. 9th, 2009 04:38 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: OP - (Anonymous) - Feb. 9th, 2009 08:00 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Happy Accident : Jon/Stephen : Bloodplay : NC-17 [2/2] - (Anonymous) - Feb. 9th, 2009 05:28 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Happy Accident : Jon/Stephen : Bloodplay : NC-17 [2/2] - (Anonymous) - Feb. 9th, 2009 08:05 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Happy Accident : Jon/Stephen : Bloodplay : NC-17 [2/2] - (Anonymous) - Feb. 9th, 2009 09:59 am (UTC) - Expand
(Anonymous)
Feb. 7th, 2009 09:50 am (UTC)
Rahm/Rachel
Climax described in detail; bent over desk.
(Anonymous)
Feb. 7th, 2009 10:12 am (UTC)
Chuck Noblet/Keith Olbermann

Serious Daddy Issues, at work..
(Anonymous)
Feb. 9th, 2009 09:47 pm (UTC)
DO WANT.
(Anonymous)
Feb. 7th, 2009 10:25 am (UTC)
Anon might be obvious.

Jon Stewart/Tim Geithner

Tim could've been a standup comedian. Jon teaches him. Kink: Goodboy!Tim, generally Teacher/Student fetish.
(Anonymous)
Feb. 9th, 2009 05:06 pm (UTC)
seconded :D
(Anonymous)
Feb. 7th, 2009 11:41 am (UTC)
Another possibly obvious anon.

Jon Stewart/Joe Biden. Because Joe was flirting with him so hard when he was on TDS during the 2007/08 primaries.
(Anonymous)
Feb. 8th, 2009 02:36 am (UTC)
Yesss
(Anonymous)
Feb. 7th, 2009 02:39 pm (UTC)
Anderson/Reza Aslan, any kink

(in case anyone was wondering, Reza is that seriously fine scholar dude who is a resident Middle East expert for Andy's show. Has been on TDS once or twice.)
(Anonymous)
Feb. 8th, 2009 12:41 am (UTC)
He has been on TDS four times and this would be AWESOME!
Veni, Vidi, Vici (I Came, I Saw, I Conquered) - (Anonymous) - Feb. 24th, 2009 01:51 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Veni, Vidi, Vici (I Came, I Saw, I Conquered) - (Anonymous) - Feb. 24th, 2009 03:59 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Veni, Vidi, Vici (I Came, I Saw, I Conquered) - (Anonymous) - Feb. 24th, 2009 05:29 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Veni, Vidi, Vici (I Came, I Saw, I Conquered) - (Anonymous) - Feb. 24th, 2009 04:52 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Veni, Vidi, Vici (I Came, I Saw, I Conquered) - (Anonymous) - Feb. 24th, 2009 05:32 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Anonymous)
Feb. 7th, 2009 04:46 pm (UTC)
Bill O'Reilly/anybody (except Rush because ewwwwwww).

Obvious poster would be obvious if anybody knew who the fuck I am.
(Anonymous)
Feb. 8th, 2009 04:23 am (UTC)
Papa Bear in Love
"I still don't see why you have to pretend to be such an asshole on national television, though," Keith said, running his hand through his hair.

"I do this because absolutely no one can ever know of our secret love," Bill replied, shimming back into his pants. His eyes glazed over with the pain of the ages. "It hurts me far more than it hurts you, Keith."

"But I have to pretend to hate you on national television!" Keith cried.

"So?" Bill asked, laughing mirthlessly. "I have to pretend to hate everything that is good and bright in this world on national television.

At Bill's words, Keith teared up.

"You sacrifice so much for us," his sniffled. "I don't know what I ever did to deserve you."

"Neither do I," Bill smiled, smoothing Keith's hair gently. "But hey. One of us had to do it."

"But why?" Keith sobbed. "This is the twenty-first century, why couldn't we come out with--"

"Hey, hey, hey," Bill murmured, lifting Keith's chin. "Look at the bright side. Think of all the ratings our so-called feud has generated."

"But, Bill!" Keith protested, "You are universally despised and loathed by the intelligent world!"

"I know," Bill said, standing up an straitening his tie resolutely. "But when I'm with you, suddenly none of that matters to me anymore."

Kissing Keith on the forehead, he strode out the door, ready to once more assume the identity of his character, the angry, shouting, intolerant neo-con who hated the world.

"I love you!" Keith called after him, resting his hand on his heart.

Bill paused. "I know," he replied, just barely glancing over his shoulder. "I'll never forget that."

With that, he turned and walked away, fighting back the tears with all of his might.

From somewhere in the cosmos, Rachel laughed mightily, banging her head against her desk as pure, uncontrollable mirth overtook her.
Re: Papa Bear in Love - (Anonymous) - Feb. 8th, 2009 05:17 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Papa Bear in Love - (Anonymous) - Feb. 8th, 2009 06:06 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Papa Bear in Love - (Anonymous) - Feb. 8th, 2009 09:52 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Papa Bear in Love - (Anonymous) - Feb. 8th, 2009 03:03 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Papa Bear in Love - (Anonymous) - Feb. 8th, 2009 04:53 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Papa Bear in Love - sailorptah - Mar. 15th, 2009 12:52 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Papa Bear in Love - (Anonymous) - Apr. 8th, 2009 01:46 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - (Anonymous) - Apr. 8th, 2009 01:50 am (UTC) - Expand
(Anonymous)
Feb. 7th, 2009 05:53 pm (UTC)
Since Papa Bear has already been mentioned... O'Reilly/character!Stephen, domination, Stephen being used by O'Reilly in one or more ways
(Anonymous)
Mar. 15th, 2009 12:53 am (UTC)
I was SO going to ask for this. Someone, plz, step up!
(Anonymous)
Feb. 7th, 2009 06:51 pm (UTC)
Jon/"Stephen", hurt/comfort, preferably in reference to "Stephen"/Bill O'Reilly

(how so many BillO comments in a row??)
(Anonymous)
Feb. 7th, 2009 08:00 pm (UTC)
Oooh, I second this!
(no subject) - (Anonymous) - Mar. 15th, 2009 12:54 am (UTC) - Expand
(Anonymous)
Feb. 7th, 2009 08:31 pm (UTC)
keith/rachel, student/teacher, preferably involving the time he taught her to read a teleprompter
(Anonymous)
Feb. 10th, 2009 03:22 am (UTC)
Learn from example, Keith/Rachel, 1/2
The studio was dim when they entered, the rest of the staff long gone to enjoy their Friday nights.

“Keith, I really don’t think I need to practice. I know how to read and speak at the same time!” Rachel crossed her arms over her hest and pouted at Keith.

“It’s different on a teleprompter, Rach. And don’t forget, it’s my show you’ll be hosting. I have to make sure you’ll do a good job.”

Rachel sighed and seated herself behind the desk. This wasn’t her ideal Friday night activity, but maybe Keith could be talked into a drink after she’d read to his satisfaction.

In front of her Keith fiddled with the machine, frowning.

“Okay, go.”

“Keith…how do you expect me to read the teleprompter when there are no words on the teleprompter?’

“Right. One minute.”

Rachel spun in Keith’s chair idly, looking up at the ceiling, while Keith muttered to himself and typed.

“Try now.” Rachel focused on the screen in front of her.

“Good evening. I’m Rachel Maddow, in for Keith Olbermann, and you’re watching Countdown on MSNBC. Today marks the 1,056th occurrence of Bush signing an idiotic bill into law, and Republicans in congress aren’t – “

Rachel stopped reading and rolled her eyes at Keith.

“Keith, if you’re going to make me do this, at least give me something real to read. I could be drinking right now instead of humoring you and your teleprompter.”

He smirked back at her. “You never know what that imbecile will come up with, best to be prepared to demonstrate general disdain.”

Fine. She would humor him.

“Today’s efforts to undermine our country and return us to the 18th century in terms of technology, healthcare and human rights were met by minimal resistance from the Democratic party. There, were, however, dissenting voices from around the nation.”

As the words got less absurd Rachel got caught up in what she was reading.

Keith’s hand on her shoulder startled her so badly that she almost jumped out of the chair.

“Speak more slowly,” he said quietly, mouth right next to her ear. “Give the audience time to process what it is you’re telling them.”

He moved his mouth away from her ear but left his hand on her shoulder. She could feel the warm weight of it through her thin shirt, and it distracted her as she tried to continue reading the words on the screen, more slowly this time.

Keith’s thumb was rubbing small circles against her shoulder, though, and she was having a hard time concentrating on anything but the tingles that were starting to spread through her body. She stumbled over a sentence and stopped briefly.

Then his mouth was back by her ear.

“Pay attention, Maddow. The audience can tell when your mind is wandering.”

Rachel nodded and considered shaking his hand off her shoulder so she could focus, but instead began to read again.

She’d barely begun when Keith’s other hand came to rest on her other shoulder, and he spun her and the chair to face him.

“Rachel,” he admonished, “how can I teach you how to read from the teleprompter if you won’t concentrate on what you’re doing?”

His voice was low and gravely and sent a shot of electricity straight to her clit. He was looking down at her, wry half-smirk on his face.

She stood up abruptly, anxious to put some space between them before things got seriously out of hand. He forestalled her though, stepping closer and effectively trapping her between his body and the desk.

“Keith,” she whispered as he stepped between her legs. Her head was tipped up to look at him. His eyes were dark as he leaned against her, deliberately crowding her.
Learn from example, Keith/Rachel, 2/2 - (Anonymous) - Feb. 10th, 2009 03:23 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Learn from example, Keith/Rachel, 2/2 - (Anonymous) - Feb. 10th, 2009 03:42 am (UTC) - Expand
(Anonymous)
Feb. 7th, 2009 11:19 pm (UTC)
I don't expect anyone to tackle this, but I'd love to read Jon/Gillian Anderson. No specifics, really, anything at all would be lovely!

Thankies!!
(Anonymous)
Feb. 8th, 2009 12:06 am (UTC)
Dude, I've been meaning to write that for a long time. I just never got much further than the beginning of it.
OP - (Anonymous) - Feb. 9th, 2009 12:16 am (UTC) - Expand
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( 2216 comments — Leave a comment )

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